Not To Spoil It For You, But…

Being pushed and pulled, pulled and pushed; kind of like making homemade butter in a churn; push and pull, pull and push; it takes a while for the finished product. But moreso, needed that one little kick to jumpstart to reality and get out of the ‘make believe” world that seemed full of good-byes. Harder than anticipated.

It’s been done before but there was a lot of love involved with family and lots of friends wishing and praying happy things. This time there’s less, much less family and even less friends, but those who are around in word and spirit are life-giving forces. They are also blessed because they are blessings to those who love them. Lost some friends and family to death, drugs, forever anger (for not selling 300 feet of land out of a 14 acre tract), a terrible case of OCD and narcissism, PTSD, not being allowed to share the life with offspring and family, most importantly losing that sweet Baby Girl, etc. It doesn’t end. But…..

“Not to spoil it for you but……. everything is going to be okay.” A friend, one who has been battling cancer for 20 years, sent this to me; not to show me her battle was tougher than mine (because is really and truly is a fight for her life) but to show that ‘whatever’ the battle or ‘whomever’ has the battle, it’s still going to be okay. She’s amazed she’s still alive and I’m amazed she has the true want and ability to show her friends that she thinks about them no matter how bad off or sick she may be from all of her diseases and horrible treatments. She is quite an inspiration, something that doesn’t grown on everybody’s tree, and a motivator when you least expect it. Maybe it’s because of the long, hard battle she is fighting but her inspiration and motivation is something quite different than what most people have. Seems like when you know for a fact what your ‘end game’ really is, some things appear more important than others.

“Not to spoil it for you but….. everything is going to be okay.” Yep, it is. Not without lots of mistakes, trials and errors to add to the belt. At times, things are easier to learn once you’re out of the ‘danger’ zone – i.e. no help, help without showing you or letting you learn it, or worse yet, knowing who can help and show you but not willing to do it or just plain out being let down. However, ‘everything is going to be okay.’

Last Chance (the glamper), Miss Ellie (the truck), Hershey (the Wonder Dog) and I had planned to pull out yesterday but Hershey seems to be a little under the weather. He’s not better today, actually a little worse. I haven’t seen him eat since early afternoon yesterday and he’s had no water nor could I entice him with a piece of cheese. He just crawls on the couch, gets under the covers and lays there until I make him go out with me for a walk. If he continues like this today, tomorrow will be a vet visit. Honestly, I don’t know if he’s sick or if he’s suffering a ‘broken heart’ because he’s lost all his people and furry friends that he immediately loved (because he’d bark and wag his tail at the same time), and it’s just him and me again. Once again, however, ‘everything is going to be okay.’

Pretty sure this entry has no rhyme or reason to many of you but sometimes getting thoughts out of your head makes other things clearer. Let’s hope so.

For each of you…….

‘Not to spoil it for you but….. everything is going to be okay. (via my special friend SD)

Love,

Nanny

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